"If you were in my place, what would you do?" my friend asked with agony. I consoled her, though, somewhere I felt how I wish I was in her place, which was far more better than my situation! Relationships differ and the reason isn't how a person should behave when in a particular situation. It is very funny, isn't it? At times you are sharing your worries with someone so near to you and expect a response to be that of consolation, acceptance of behaviour and to move a step ahead, confirmation of the act done is right! And the person responds in a superficial "best" friend style, just not to hurt you at the moment as he/she doesn't agree with you.
Somewhere in south Mumbai, in a social work college there's a Professor teaching "introjection", "projection", "retroflection" and so on in Transactional Analysis, chalked out by Eric Berne as if it's a "plan of communication". Relationships flow from the heart, if they had some technically-tested and verified causes and effects, then we would ask for some "emotion" surgeries as well to fix up the adamant, the haughty, the depressed, the inarticulate, the lethargic and so on...
Well, coming to the point, being an emotional fool is a part and parcel of my personality. I am proud of it. I cry when I feel sad, I laugh when I sense something funny, I get raged when something doesn't suit MY principles...you would say what's abnormal in this....everyone does the same, what's the big "gyan" you are providing...so folks to put my point through I would emphasize you go back and read the paragraph carefully, to notice this is what "I" do when "I feel" and not when its appropriate for me to do so.... If to laugh at a funeral is cynical, then answer me: the person who is dead might be doing the same, as he knows how many people, attending it, are fake with their eyeballs dipped in glycerin crying with sadistic pleasure! If crying while a child plays is weird, then tell me what should it be like to gauge the emotions overpowering on the child's mind who doesn't have a limb, is half-naked, drenched in mud and bathing in rain, playing ruthlessly against the big-daddies of some convent!
I am not justifying anything. But yes, I am stupid to mock at funeral of Dr.X, who worked in Gadchiroli, for the tribals just to cure them of malnutrition, malaria and scorpion bites, where thousands have gathered to sing ballads of the "greatness" (as they perceive!) of the divine soul...I am quite sure Dr.X would have loved if even one percent of these would have joined us on the health drive in Mokhada where a presentation about status of health in Gadchiroli was being held! But in vain, it's far more easy to come to Thane and squeeze out their "feelings"at the funeral of a great man they "know", than to go all the way to "Mokhada" sit there under some hot tin roof, listening to some group doing something in some state...er..district..er..city..anyways some place,yaar!(that's enough), on top of that it is very much a concern if they don't know whether the food and water, if they get any and on time, is hygienic enough or not!
What do I do, I introject: I am OKAY, YOU are OKAY! I take in as the the world gives, reiterating the events between birth and death of Dr.X, who had no connection with the world of mannerisms and etiquettes...but didn't mind them either..he was happy if people accepted him and equally happy if they ignored!
Or I project: I am OKAY, You are NOT OKAY! The classic example for this to me is: My relationship with Dr.X. I always disowned my indifferent attitude and blamed him for being indifferent! He, however, didn't mind it. He explained many things to me in a calm and composed manner...putting forth the importance of reflection and action. He was a true Friere fan....he liked linking his work with people and then quiz them with the impossible...they loved it and respected him....
Or I retroflect: trying to put in as many possibilities of conscience and composure which Dr.X had in order to utilise it when I would work with people in Gadchiroli or Mokhada or Roha (all three in Maharashtra)or Jhabua (MP) or Bastar (Chattisgarh) or North Cachar Hills (Assam) or Phulbani (Orissa) or Dausa (Rajasthan)....or any other village of my country....
On the day Dr.X died...though none on the Gonds of Gadchiroli were there at his death bed, they declared that day as their "swa-shasan" din, meaning "self-discipline" day, in the context of health!
Here, I don't know whether to rejoice for the Gonds or cry out loud for Dr.X who couldn't witness this turning point!
