Regaining "yourself"!

Future is full of possibilities! For you. For the ever-growing expectations of your parents. For your well-wishers. So you tend to grab, almost pounce upon every “opportunity” that seems to make you fly high! And has the potential “success” hidden within just for you! You become super-cautious, hyperactive and gobble up every bit of influential, resourceful thing that would help you add on that “feather” in your cap!
You take every exam, screening test, interview, audition, presentation, project, assignment, etc. with utmost seriousness, sincerity and give your best shot!
But your hands shiver, your throat dries out, all of a sudden you feel a big hollow in your stomach, i.e. to say, you PANIC! That ends all! You already know your performance and the examiner need not even check your paper to hand you the results!
What a waste! Why should anyone panic when you are all set to perform your best? Why a lump in the throat when everything you know by rote? Amazing, it’s the best example of a pun in practice!
You start blaming it on “expectations” of your parents, friends, “stress”, “fear of going wrong”, “cut-throat competition”, “unfair rules”, etc. But, in fact, deep in your heart you know the reason why you failed!
Just ask yourself with pure conscience and utmost honest introspection – did you give your “best” shot? Were you really “prepared”? Did you fear the exam or the competitors? What for did you give this attempt? Are you playing a game of “not losing” instead of “winning”? Are you scared of being a “loser”? Did you choose to “fail”?
If all the answers end up with a ‘yes’, then its high time that you redefine your way of thinking! And most important, attitude towards life as well!
It’s not a fight with the world, nor is it a fight with you! In reality, it’s a process to evolve the way you are and not the way you “ought” to be as per the worldly parameters! It may sound strange to deny aggression as a part of life. But, it can always have a better format, like, checks and balances within your own personality! (Due apologies to Freud and Darwin!). You may have an Achilles' heel! But that’s fine altogether! Trying to be perfect or striving for a “perfect” image is only like running after a mirage!
The solution lies in accepting yourself as you are! That will fetch you peace with yourself, within yourself!
Sometimes you tend to emphasize too much on ‘HOW you want it?’ instead of ‘WHAT exactly do you want?’ That creates a big confusion and ultimately transforms into fear, panic and losing “yourself” to the vagaries of your own depleting confidence!
You start re-evaluating, building up measures to boost up your confidence, revive your enthusiasm, and set off afresh to face new challenges and stand up with immense resilience!
Or else, like me, you purge out all the unwanted, discouraging stuff, right onto your blog and find a solution on your own at the end of your “self-assessment” write-up!!!

For the solace of your soul!

Fight for your zeal
Not compromising in any deal
For you have with you, within you
All the will power you need

Make most of your failures
Your stepping stones to succeed
Make most of your adversaries
Your inevitable yet encouraging instructors

Look for hope
Live for a goal
That’s the interwoven rope
For the solace of your soul!!!

Sailing in a small ferry

Sailing in a small ferry
I asked the moon
Restless by a single query
Why don’t you rise at noon!

The day’s scorching rays
Nights darkening in all ways
Counting breaths on the countless sands
Life is draining in my hands

Emotions tearing apart my heart
Thoughts breaking my brain in parts
I am waiting since endless time
For the verdict of an only crime

I loved him with all my soul
Not in part but in whole
He was for me life personified
Then why am I being crucified!

Oh dearest moon! The soothing one!
Advised your twinkling stars
In love, there’s no gain
For sure, its no fun only pain!

Yet as I sail through
With all trust in you
Though like a caged bird
I believe in your word!

“Love doesn’t end in one blow
Even if it leaves the heart hollow
It’s an entity by itself
In a way, selfless without a self!”